February is the month of love. It even includes an entire day that is set aside simply for the purpose of making grand gestures of romance and love. Valentine's Day has been around for centuries.
One story of the origin of Valentine's Day dates back to the 3rd century AD. Father Valentine, a Roman priest, defied what he believed was an unjust law of his day that forbade marriage and secretly married young lovers. For this he was sentenced to death, was martyred two centuries later and became one of the most popular saints of France and Italy.
This thing called love receives more and more notice in most every area of life. Spiritual traditions have long claimed love to be at the core of healing and happiness. Philosophers have written of three types of love called eros, agape and philia. Medical research has produced scientific findings that love improves our health - it changes us on a cellular level, enhances our immune and cardiovascular systems, and increases our endorphins. A recent Oprah show highlighted a group of middle aged women who attributed their vitality and success to doing what they love. And the Law of Attraction that is rapidly gaining attention identifies love as a high energy emotion that transforms not only the "lover" but those near and far. As well it has the greatest attraction power of any energy.
Since this is February I want to talk about the love celebrated in February, love that is distinguished by the "Big R word" - Romance. As I write this I am reminded that I don't hear or read very much anymore about romance, except for a week or two around Valentine's Day. I think something is amiss. Who doesn't, if you are truly honest with yourself, desire more romance in your life?
Think of it. Romance is romance because of an array of delicious qualities such as genuine curiosity, adoring attention, expression of deep affection and passionate emotional involvement. Pretty good so far, don't you think? There's more. Romance is filled with charm and excitement. There is play, intense pleasure, profound interest and adoration. In romance one's best self naturally shines forth, as well as the ability to see the magnificence in another. As I expect you know, there is a great deal of energy in romance - energy of vitality, passion and aliveness. Now I ask you again, "Who wouldn't want more of that?" If you're counting, count me in.
HOW TO HAVE MORE
The next question becomes "how?" Before answering this question, I want to remind you that any "great" relationship requires several things, one of which is romance. Now let's get back to the question at hand, "What does it take to have more romance in my relationships?" First, let's go back to the wisdom of Saint Valentine. He followed his heart not the dictates of something he didn't believe in. So follow the desires of your heart, rather than the commands of "shoulds." Second, choose to "become the Cupid in your own life." Cupid, the Roman winged god of love, who shot his arrows of desire into unsuspecting persons has long been a symbol for Valentine's Day. As Cupid, you get to shoot your arrows wherever you want. What relationship in your life would you like infused with more romance?
There is the obvious area of intimate relationships, whether with a long term partner or spouse, someone you are dating, or maybe even someone you are interested in but haven't yet let them know. Is there still romance in your marriage or long term relationship? If yes, be grateful for it every day and keep doing what you're doing that keeps romance alive. If not, let this month of love be the month to reclaim and re-ignite the playful, passionate aliveness of romance with some gesture that lets your partner know that you "see" and adore them. You can even do this with someone you are dating or begin with someone you are interested in. And there is always the long-stemmed red rose, ever the symbol of love and romance. Whatever you do, do it authentically - put your playful, thoughtful, passionate heart in it!
What about your business or career? Might it be time to start romancing your work or your business? Spend some time here with your full attention, appreciation and curiosity. What is one passionate action that would create a spark in this area of your life? Do that by Valentine's Day. What is the particular charm or uniqueness of your work or business, even if dormant right now? Highlight that in your planning and next steps.
There are many relationships in your life that could be transformed by a little romance besides those I already mentioned - even those with money and time for starters. They all have one common denominator - You. Maybe now is the time to start some "serious" romancing of yourself? How much adoring attention, genuine curiosity and profound interest do you have for you? When was the last time you took time to "see" who you really are and what's most important to you, or consciously gifted yourself with pleasure? Please take out your calendar and highlight an evening or an afternoon during the week of Valentine's Day that you will treat yourself to a romantic date with "you" to do, be or have whatever strikes your romantic fantasy. And then, make it a habit.
THE THREE M'S OF ROMANCE
Romance requires that you take time, slow down and pay attention. And if romance strikes your fancy, remember that what you give your attention to grows stronger in your life.
I want to leave you with the three "M's" of Romance - magic, mystery & miracles. These have to be present for real romance to occur. While science continually strives to "know" and find answers to or reasons for everything in life, I invite you to also allow for magic, mystery & miracles which provide much of the spice in life and the romance in love. Make sure to invite these into the Dance of Romance!
Enjoy this month, and beyond, of romance. And remember, You are a natural! You are brilliant! You are magnificent! Simply by being you. Let your light shine!
If you'd like to speak with me about connecting with your passion and creating a life and business you love, call today for a 30 - minute complimentary consultation @ 617-524-6153.
Reggie Odom LICSW, CPCC, PCC is the founder of Inspired Works a Life Coach, inspirational speaker, and lecturer at Simmons College School of Social Work. She is considered a master teacher and unforgettable speaker. Reggie coaches professionals and practice-based entrepreneurs who want more joy and greater aliveness. http://www.reggieodom.com