It does not matter whether you have over 25 years experience managing one or many relationships or a novice in this zone, each one of us have our own ideas of Romance. The definitions are as diverse as the person whose idea it is. Every relationship starts with romance, but somewhere in between life with its banalities come in the way. Whatever your beliefs and notions may be about Romance, I have drawn up a list which according to me are the most common myths about Romance:
1. No difference between romance and sex. Completely wrong notion. Romance can, in the least, is a precursor to sex. If a person becomes romantic, with only sex in mind, he will soon meet his Waterloo. Consider romance as a mere "mental foreplay". It helps you to inform your loved one what your feelings are and that you have taken care to express your feelings.
2. Romance has no place in a relationship. Agreed, our work, hobbies and everything sometimes get higher priority than just romancing. But let us not forget that it is the romance in our lives, with our partner, that holds our lives together. It is that proverbial cementing factor which keeps our balance and keep us on track - not just with the partner, but with life in general. It is truly the pivot of life.
3. You need cash to be romantic. No way. You don't have to flaunt your bank balance to be romantic. It's all about making some small wishes and dainty dreams come true. Many times, pulling up a chair, opening the door, carrying a heavy bag for your partner or just paying a compliment on how she is looking today, takes you miles ahead in a romance, which no amount of expensive gifts and dinners can achieve.
4. Romance needs extra time and more extra effort. While I agree that some aspects of romance is indeed time consuming, but a whole lot of small and insignificant things can add a lot of romance to your relationship. Simple acts like making that phone call at the most unexpected time, turning the lights low, putting on her favorite music as she enters the room or prancing in the kitchen while dinner is getting cooked, can enliven and rekindle romance in your lives.
5. Romance is a woman only topic. It is a myth that women take the lead when it comes to the mater of romancing. Both men and women can jointly hunt out romance. The only difference lies is a romantic person thinks up of various small things to add that spark, whereas an unromantic person hardly has any innovative ideas.
6. Candy and flowers are enough. Of course they work in a romantic situation but don't you think it has become very cliché? Try adding something new to the old thing. Present her with flowers and candy at a place where you first met or kissed. Doing or even thinking of doing this small extra bit, takes you a long way.
7. You're either a born romantic or you can't do it. I fully agree, you can't fake romance. However there is nothing yet discovered called the "romance gene", with which guys like Richard Burton or women like Marilyn Monroe were born. You need not be born with any special talent to be romantic. If it does not occur to you naturally, you can always take tips from books, internet or even TV. And the best thing about romance is that you can spread romance. You be romantic with your partner. Chances are that your partner will definitely reciprocate.
8. Saying I love you is enough. You can say this a hundred times during the day but it still may not be enough, if you are thinking of true romance. Actions speak louder than words here. Do something to show, take a small step to prove that "I love you" than just saying it. Write I love you on a small Post -It and stick on the bookmark of the book she will read before she goes to bed. Or write those magic words with a toothpick on a slab of butter at the breakfast table. Think and think hard. You will find many creative ways.
9. Romance needs a lot of preparation. The best part about romance is that there is no tried and tested formula which one can follow. Because the whole mater is subjective - what you find romantic might be silly to another. Devise your own ways...do something that matches your capabilities, and more importantly do something which your partner finds equally romantic. If you are clueless, ask, they are glad you took interest in the subject.
10. Its more than enough to be Romantic on Valentines Day and Sweetest Day. It is expected of you to be romantic on special days like these and your anniversary, birthdays etc. But can you be romantic all year round? Can you be consistent with your romantic ideas? If you can, then you have the key to a most romantic relationship of your life time. Something where the spark is permanently on.
Joshua Goh is dating & relationship expert. His desire is to motivate and support single men, women and couples to overcome the obstacles preventing them from attaining the loving relationships and lives they really want. For more information please visit our site for up-to-date free personals reviews and practical online dating tips & ideas.